PATTON'S SAD TAIL- VOL. XIV

I easily sliced through Plato's frail forearm skin.  His whole body was wasting away to nothing.  How the hell was this operation gonna help again?  I had no idea, Plato had them all.
Xeno and the master looked at each other like a couple of school boys who had just seen their first boob.  I was no boob.  I was just a cat trying to implant mechanical hands onto another cat.  What's the big deal?  Snap out of it!  I guess that would be up to me as well.

I continued to prep Plato's paws while the boys sobered up.  Xeno started loading another bowl.  Really?  I didn't want to fight that battle, but when he offered the bowl to my master, and my master began to accept, well...that was enough.

I lunged over Plato on the operating table and launched myself towards them.  Oh, God, I was still so fat!  Gravity yanked me down like a sack of lead shit.  As I plummeted, I swiped wildly and knocked the glass pipe out of Xeno's hand.  The pipe and my fat ass went crashing to the floor together.

"The f***, man!" Xeno spat mellowly.

"Hsss!" A**hole!

I then turned to the master.  You're a f***ing idiot.

What?  You said you had this.

Jesus, Plato needs you!  I need you!  You're supposed to be the one in charge!

Okay, damn.  Alright.

Xeno sat back, looking at the expressions change on my master and my faces as we carried on our telepathic tete-a-tete.  I could feel his eyes wobbling behind his tinted goggles.  "Um, you guys having a conversation right now?"  He was gonna have to get used to this, but I don't think he could do it sober, and I'd have to get used to that.  Hey, could you?

"Yeah, It's a long story." And my master stuck his severed tongue out at him.

"Gross!" Xeno barked, impressed.  The realization that things were beyond his understanding seemed to wake him up a little bit.  "Fine, then.  I got the transfusion set up.  I'd start it before you (meaning me) did any more slicing.  I got more doses prepped, just in case."

Hey, those are for Plato, not you, right?  I silently asked as Xeno looked yearningly at the syringes.

"Thanks again, buddy." The master said, placing a hearty hand on Xeno's shoulder.  And you...

Me?

You're here to help...help, not take over.

Yeah, the take over will be later.

I really wish you'd quit being cryptic.

The master popped open the box from Gauge.  He pulled the new and improved hands from the Styrofoam popcorn and laid them out next to Plato's dissected paws.

"Alright, there's some new connections here; more stability and movement around the thumbs, a deeper clamp around the proximal phalanges and metacarpals." He explained as I jumped back on the steel table and nosed around where he was pointing.  "We'll have to split and splice he extensor carpi radialis into the medial thumb; the extensor carpi ulnaris into the lateral."

Stop.  I cocked my head with a look that combined confusion and annoyance.  Then I picked up a probe and started pointing to what I knew needed to be done in a language I understood.  So this do-hickey needs to go with this whatnot, and this thingamajig needs to be fed around this whatchamacallit.  I get it.  Let's go.

Okay, I think we think we can do this together.  "Xeno, you cool with being surg-tech?"

"Yup."  He popped.  I think, oddly, he was just happy to be there.  "I got all the tools and meds you need...um...just let me know when...Patton?...needs something, you know...I can't read his mind...you know...like you can I guess."

"Got it.  Thanks." The master had so much appreciation for his comrade.  I almost felt bad butting in to their friendship...almost.  He then looked more closely at Plato's old, withered muscles and nerves.  I felt a thought pop into his head, but couldn't tell right away what it was.  "He's gonna need a lot of grafting."

So, get some swatches from on of the dozens of corpses you got stashed in the freezer.

"I hear you." Xeno agreed, his eyebrows arching above the goggles.  "There's almost nothing left in there.  Gonna need some healthy tissue."

So...I repeated my adamant thought...got plenty of donors over there.

"Yeah, they need to be fresh, too." The master answered Xeno.

Um, why are you ignoring me?

Then, as if drawn in by its enormous gravitational force, Xeno and the master trained their gaze directly on my big, fat ass.  I looked there myself, and it stared back, enormous. 

You gotta be f***ing kidding me.

"You know we gotta do it.  You got the same blood type.  No chance for rejection." He spoke out loud to me so Xeno could hear.

My face imploded with enraged realization.  I hate you.  I will kill you...after you fix me...after this.

"Hey, you got enough back there for ten operations!" Xeno heckled, as if we had some kind of relationship that would welcome a dumbass comment like that.

"Hsss!" That's all you get from me, a**hole!  "Hsss!"

Hey, the master thought to calm me, it's for Plato.  You wanted to help.  This is the ultimate ass-cyst.  You showed me enough.  Thank you.  Then he started staring at the ceiling.

I'm not sure, dude.  I need to think for a minute.  Why are you staring at the ceiling?

I really appreciate you being here, Patton.  Then the master's gaze switched briefly to Xeno.  Xeno had moved...behind me.

You son of a bitch!  And before I could spring away, I felt the needle in my fat ass.  I will...whoa, that's strong...f***er...

Now leave me alone, I'm recovering from a book.

Get away from my ass!  Damnit!