Still, the consequences of misappropriating the hands bore pale comparison to confiscation of the idea. Even when it wasn't around, I could feel something much larger pulling at my mind. The hands may have been the key, but the idea, the idea of the hands, that was the door. I knew enough about our current situation to know I didn't know a f***ing thing. That's why we needed Plato. That's why we still need him. Only he could, and can, prevent something beyond our control from taking control of everything. Yeah, he's that good.
Plato's conditioned deteriorated rapidly. He could barely walk any more; wouldn't eat. Usually cats like to die alone, but that wasn't an option here. He needed medical attention, stat!
It's all set up. The master announced. I'm meeting Xeno tonight. He's got a new neural-regeneration accelerator. Should cut down on recovery time. Still, I don't know if Plato can handle it.
I'm going with you.
The f*** you are.
I whipped out by big, sad eyes and plead. Please.
You can't possibly want to see this. The master reached down to comfort me, putting a loosely balled fist to the side of my face. I coyly rubbed the side of my mouth against the skin of his thumb. Bingo. Well, maybe you could help.
I'll help make him better than you made me. Stupid human. Kill...
I'm gonna start wearing gloves.
Better wear a body glove.
You are NOT to be trusted. I gotta keep an eye on you.
Why, I've already got an eye IN you.
What have I done to deserve this?
More than enough. Saving Plato is but the first step in your exoneration.
Big words for a little pussy. I'm gonna need a vacation when this is all over.
From your part time job...
Something to clear my...
C says /k/. Cat in a cabin. /k/ /k/ /k/
You read that?
You read that. I read that which you read. Telepathy, bitch!
Help me, Xeno. You're my only hope.
How's Xeno gonna help you? Drugs? You don't do drugs. You don't even drink any more.
I've been wanting to jump off that wagon for a long time. Now I've got a reason.
I heard the text alert buzz on the master's phone. He looked at it. I looked at it, but couldn't understand. Xeno?
Yep. And he looked at me, still unsure of my inclusion. Ugh. Let's roll.
I waddled over to Plato. Stupid tail. His body fell limp, offering itself to the angels. The master carefully shoveled him into the cat carrier.
"It's alright, Plato. It's gonna be alright." Plato licked his hand with no ulterior motive other than love. I suddenly wished I could go back. An animal death seemed preferable to what we had in store.
He'll be better than alright. I tried to reassure.
F*** you, Patton. I should have stopped with Ghasm; let nature run its course with you and Plato. But no, you altered that path. This IS all your fault.
But it's your doing.
An fearful silence consumed the car ride to the annex. I sat in the back next to Plato. He wheezed and trembled, moments from death. My vision, through the master's eyes, transfixed on the speeding lights, the dark grey night, and veneer of my master's tears. He yearned for awfully simple days, when it was just him and the three of us. The time before the idea.
He knew ideas were dangerous. Shiny phantasms of hope rarely realized. But his ideas were relentless in every manifestation. They wouldn't leave him alone. They wouldn't let him live a normal life. And now, he was dragging us all, clawing and biting, into the nightmare with him. Selfish, sapient a**hole.
By the time we got the the operating dungeon, Xeno had already prepped the table. He greeted us, well, the master at least, with his signature wide toothed smile, black, sleeveless lab coat, manicured Mohawk, and tinted safety goggles that most assuredly hid bloodshot eyes.
"Suup!" He barked a little too loud. "Hey, is that Patton?"
F*** you.
"Damn. He looks good. Have you lost weight, buddy?" And the f***er actually reached down to pet me.
Now really f*** you. "Hsss!" And that piece of shit yanked his tattooed arm back like a bitch. Why did I hate him, he helped save my life after all? I don't know. Chalk it up to instinct. Maybe jealousy. Whatever, "Hssss!"
"Damn. Alright, f*** you too. Jesus." Xeno stood back up, more than a little hurt. We always got along before. In fact, he was the only other human I liked...before. So what was the reason for this? For the first time, shockingly, duh, I really felt something else controlling me.
"Don't worry about him," But no, really, worry. "He's been a little messed up since the operation."
Don't you f***ing apologize for me.
"Anyway, he's here to help. He has some ideas."
You could actually hear Xeno's mental gears churning, losing teeth as he ground his. "Smoaggabole?"
"Naw, I'm good."
Yeah, I'm good too.
"I better smoaggabole." Puff. Puff. Cough. "I got the sedative drip set up. The nootropic wash is prepped. Oh, hey..."
I pulled a rolling lab stool from one of the wall benches and wheeled it over to the operating table. I needed to see, with my own eyes, what Xeno'd prepared.
"Um...hey..." Puff. Puff. Choke. Xeno stammered, pointing at my actions and darting his head back and forth between my master and me. "Are you f***ing kidding me?" Cough.
I hopped my fat ass onto the stool, sat up tall, and flashed my three-fanged smiling yapper at him. Then I raised my right hand and slowly brandished my chrome plated claws. Scalpel?
Puff. Puff. Snort. "Sweet."
"You cool?"
"No, yeah. That's f***in' Bad Ass!" Puuuuuuuuuff. Snort. Snort.
"What else you got?"
"Oh yeah, hey," And Xeno whipped out something that looked like a cross between a laser pistol and 80s label maker. "I got this. Ultrasound, baby. They're using it on Alzheimer's patients. Should act as a catalyst for the wash...cut recovery time in half."
"Awesome. Thank you. No really, dude. Thank you." My master winked.
What was that wink for?
Nothing.
Don't think I won't find out.
Patton, you're paranoid.
You would be too if you saw the things I saw. Never mind. Soon enough.
"Anyway, the mock up?"
"Yep." Xeno placed a small, unopened box in the middle of the operating table. "TOOTs V 3.14. State of the art, I guess. Whatever art that is. Got 'em from Gauge this morning. He's a magician with this shit. A schizophrenic, hermaphroditic, mechanical magician."
"A necessary evil."
"An evil necessity."
"I just said that."
"Smoaggabole?" Wink.
"Hmmm."
What are you doing?
Smoagginabole. Puff. Puff. Hack!
Son of a bitch.
My place in my master's mind became muddled, fuzzy. I had to pull back and he knew it. F***in Xeno. My instincts confirmed. Alright, I see you, Xeno. I respect what you're trying to do. To me, you're the necessary evil.
"Let's commence. Prep the patient." The master ordered, already half baked.
"Yeah, let's shave that..." Giggle. Snot.
"Nice."
I found myself surrounded by stoned morons. Plato looked up at me with mortal terror in his eyes. Don't worry. I know what needs to be done. I bit Plato on his scrawny thigh and he instantly went under. The other two looked at me. Conviction overpowered chemical influence. They willingly handed the razor sharp, stainless steel baton over to me. I winked, shook my head in disgust, and began.
Now leave me alone, I'm enhancing a book.
Hey! Xeno! Leave this cat alone!
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