PATTON'S SAD TAIL- VOL. II

I don't know why he's having me do this.  His voice is fine, much better than mine.  I still haven't found mine.  I've only been sapient for a few months.  I'm a fully matured feline with a big human baby brain.  Mostly, I just want to sit in the window sun and stare at squirrels.  Other than that, I want to eat, and excrete, and kill...kill...kill.  But now I have memories and presence.  Perhaps foresight will come later.  Now I'm locked in the ageless battle between instinct and judgement.

But you know what really bothers me?  This is a public forum, right?  I swear...I swear a lot.  You guys are gonna have to get the PG-13...not even that...the PG version of me.  Why do I cuss so much?  It's my foster dad.  He's got a mouth like a human man.  Sorry, I don't have a lot of experience to pull from.  Shut the f*** up.

Speaking of experience.  I know I've been alive for a few years, but almost everything before the change seems like linear strips of residual instinct.  That's how I acted, out of animalistic habit, and those habits are still fully ingrained in my behavioral profile.  Most of my memories consist of patterns, not actual events.

I can explain what happened, but not how.  Perhaps when Plato comes around, he'll enlighten you.  He's the smart one.  Crooked, old, matted, wise pussy.  At least he was the last time I saw him.  He sounds healthier now...in my mind.  We were all just beta tests for him.  Sam, me, and the others just test runs for our master's grand plan; to save Plato's life.  Too bad for the master, his plans had some pretty f...messed up unintended consequences.

As soon as I woke up, I knew I was different.  Not just physically; the change...changed me.  My very nature had been thrust into a cycle of quantum evolution.  "Wait.", you say, "How can you know all this?"  I've since joined minds with the master; cut a slit down the middle of his tongue with my steel claws and commingled my fluid essence with his.  "How did you know to do that?"  Instinct and judgement.  My hormones are f***ing magical!  "But h..."  Shut the f*** up.

Questions won't give you answers, they will give you problems.  I'm the problem.  I will kill you.  The first chance I get.  I will rip your throat out and eat your eyes.  Look it up, that's what we do.

I'm sorry.  Damn it!  I've got a lot on my mind.  Primarily, other minds.  I'm still adjusting to being telepathic and tele-morpho-hormonal.  Not to mention our little experiment may have just opened a portal that will most assuredly lead to the decimation of the entire planet.  What did I tell you?  Don't ask; listen...or I'll rip your f***ing ears off.  Sorry.  Sorry.  Somebody give me a paralyzed mouse to play with!

Now get out!  I'm sharpening my claws on a book.