doubt
1. to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe.
3. Archaic. to fear; be apprehensive about.
4. to be uncertain about something; be undecided in opinion or belief.
5. a feeling of uncertainty about the truth, reality, or nature of something.
7. a state of affairs such as to occasion uncertainty.
8. Obsolete. fear; dread.
I have been truly humbled by this process, this journey of pursuing my dreams. Did I know I was going to try and do this my whole life? No. It was more a process of elimination. I tried some other stuff for awhile. I didn't try some other stuff for no-while. This is what I was left with; stranded on Halteres.
I personally love it here. I wish I could live here forever. Unfortunately (by the way, unfortunately is a word I've grown to loathe and vow to never use again) anyway, unfortunately, life goes on...real life. I have to earn some semblance of a living. It's hard to do when you're not passionate about anything...but writing. What if I find out I'm not really good at what I aspire to do? What then, I ask you? What then? Shut up?
Doubt. It's all fine and well to use your dreams to motivate you through the mundane interim. Doubt. You can always find strength from within, but I fear I'm past peak production. Doubt. It's always going to be there...until it isn't.
It's funny they say fear as a definition for doubt is obsolete. It's definitely a precursor. Doubt will lead you to fear, and fear will exacerbate doubt. It's like a spinny wheely thingy that goes faster and faster until it falls of the bikey forky whatnot. Not that this will do any good, but...
F**K DOUBT!
F**K FEAR!
Anyway, f**k off. I'm doubting doubting a book.
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